OOOOOOOO, I am still so shy.

There was something unreal. About his gesture. Still, I am. Shy there. There, a touch. Between two. There is an introduction of bodies:

Happy to meet, he rises. Says hello. Still, I am. Shy. There, there a touch. You don’t have to speak at all. Still, I am. Shy, just lying here. Still, I am happy to meet. He rises. My face, a flower, falling open. Red, red, I am a rose. He rises. Smelling for my scent, his nose scratching at my skin. My eyes, a mirror, see his skin. Cocaine scratching his nose. I am, still, shy. Shoving itself into my mouth, words. I am sinking beneath weight. Words weigh a fucking ton. Silent, I am, still shy. His hand a spoon. Feeding its way into. My open lips. Pursuing, a tongue. Numb and beating. Blood rush, numb. Palpable, beating. Cocaine skin, his nose scratching. I can can can, “Taste you”. Up down around and around. I am coming. Still, I am shy. I am coming. I am still. So happy to meet you. I am shy, lying here. You don’t have to speak I said. Still, I am here. Here I am, shy. Imagine something else, lying here. Hand presses. Your body feels like dough. Pressing the muscle of my shoulder. Molding me. The perfect lover. To not be. Still, so shy. Closing the lids of my sight. Lying here, imagine you are someone else, somewhere other. My eyes pretend to dream. His tongue pursuing my open lips. I fall away. Red and beating. My hand grabs. An impossible sky. Imagine somewhere. Fingers feel wet. I see sea. I am always so close to coming. There, there a touch. Smelling for a scent. Fish. Nose scratching at my skin. My open lips, a wound. Fish flying for freedom. I see sea. Eyes pretend to dream. You can be anyone. I see myself. Running toward a beach. Naked skin, like a fish. I see sand. You can be. Still, I am shy. Anywhere. A castle! I see myself. Running toward a beach. I want to be someone in a castle. Feet press against the sand’s skin. I am falling. My body shaped as an arch, I imagine. I was meant to be on my knees. Hands feel powder. Fingers beneath the sand’s skirt. Prodding for a pearl. Pearls crushed into powder. Cocaine for the rich and famous. You can be anyone. Nose scratching at skin. Breathe, the beach. Blood rush. Smells like sea, beating. I can can can taste the sand. Through my nose. My eyes closed. Pretend they are dreaming. I can be anyone. Half my size. Like a pearl, cocaine. Words weigh a fucking ton. I see myself without them. Words dragged down the sand’s floor. Away from me. In a net, imprisoned with the shells. I am shy, still. You don’t have to speak at all. I feel so much lighter. Like the beach. My flesh is pink inside. I can can can, “Taste your pearls”. Between legs shaped as a diamond. I am addicted to your smell. Like the sea full of fish. Fingers feel wet. My eyes are dreaming, I imagine. Chelseeeeea, you are a mermaid. I like swimming in your water. Can breathe you all day. His nose scratching at my skin. The rich and famous live off cocaine. Can breathe you all day. My eyes are dreaming a beach. Left alone. I am shy. Still, all by myself. I see sea. I can can can, “Taste you”. Imagine you are somewhere other. Teasing my skin long into the night. It owns us both. I race to the sea, naked. I can be anyone with my eyes closed. Pretending to dream. Half the weight. Without words. Meanings are less. I will be light. I like the beach without shells. Looks pink, like flesh. I stare out into the sea. Breathe, so light, the air. There is nothing to see. In the sea, an impossible sky. Void of color, the sea, a black hole. At night, I go missing, in the darkness. I can’t see myself, looking into the mirror. No reflection in the sea. Imagine you are someone else, lying here. There is no one else I can think of. When everyone is always staring at me. No words. I am, still, so shy. Just breathe. The pearls. Smells like sea. Tastes like sand. I can be anywhere with my eyes closed. The sea, a type of glass, stretching for miles. I can be anyone without words. The sea like a mirror of glass. My knees pressing into skin. Breaking, the floor of the beach. Breathe. No one in the mirror. Heaving. Missing in the night. I am nothing when I am shy. You don’t have to speak at all. Through my sleep, I speak of the future. My lips like a flower falling open. So close. My lips, so red, like petals. I’ll mold you into the perfect lover. Pulling loose, my rose. So red like a mouth beating. I can can can, “Taste you”. Nose scratching my skin. Breathing in addiction. I am so close to coming. Turn them on. I want to wake to light. See myself hovering over the mirror. OOOOOOOO. In your eyes. OOOOOOOO. I don’t care if I am. Still, shy, on my present-bed. Our limbs ribboned in the center. I am so close to coming. OOOOOOOO. Into sight. He rose. So happy to have met you. OOOOOOOO. So happy I made you come. What did you imagine, lying here? The future reflects itself. In light. I see. The sea. In your eyes. A mirror. Image of my face. A thousand words of weight. All ending with OOOOOOOO.