mindscreen

these are what i want more of. have the art capture real time. where there are no specifications. no habit. no guidelines. forgetting about time, you ease into yourself and enjoy your company. the camera watches as his subjects go, naturally. one should be overwhelmed with being and busy living in love. it is then and there that success and beauty can melt into one. i do believe that art should be taken from the natural flow of lived life--perhaps stolen from the materials that set before our eyes. some times i wonder if warhol really was the closest artist that framed life and influenced spectators to stop and look at it in the eye. to capture the rawness of reality and see it unfold into the beauty of the everyday--framing silence, slowing time, catching subtleties. maybe it is interesting--and maybe it is not--or maybe it isn't that it is intriguing but a conflict for my progression as a writer: at school i have designed a program that i entitled, the study of identity and character roles. through observation, experience, reflection, analysis (which really consists of just penetrating the surface faces of all characters in order to see through them) i find that once the "study" has been stored in the archives of my mind. and i look to use these materials and particular individuals for a portrait of oneself. I realize that no critical judgement can ever come out of me. I couldn't write poorly on an individual. I couldn't concentrate on the negative encounters and engagements that were had. And perhaps this is my style. But within my study of identity and character roles, I find I capture that which only came out in glimmers--why expand on what can already so obviously be perceived?--art should bring awareness to what originally could only be felt. And so I sit before the page, wandering back through my mind, wanting to feel the essence of the story, wanting it to take me and consume me. Regardless of the actuality--the poses, the pretense, the story that was coordinated to be there--is of no interest to my pages. I look back on the scenes that I will use for stories. Some how I automatically take out the negativity of the character, how the relation ended poorly, how we had conflicting view points. I'm not interested in exposing the tantrum. I'm not interested in belittling the sound and scene of life. Instead those that reside in my past are like the characters of my work. I remember them within specific moments highly sensationalized and therefore each character is exposed at their softest, where security was fragile and underlying was the soft shelling of a youthful child. All my work hopes the words breath beauty. Look around yourself. Everything is staged and set. Nature falling to a rhythm. In between the space of silence and the place in time, one has the chance to speak, to be heard--the language needs to be fluid so one can be carried forth, poetic realities, the lyrics of life. It sounds like I need everything to be triumphant. I just want us all to be stolen by our senses--to see the world beautifully and to remember the past as a time that one was vulnerable yet overcame--to have romanticized everything, indeed. And why not? It is all about the celebration of life--the lifelong indulgence of life. My memories of others will always be less judged and more developed. I see the best part in them, and I let my imagination carry it further off, perhaps into a dream.

All I have been doing lately is having my mind shoot out from my eyes. Literally that is what it has felt like. Trying to put the entire project together for Tuesday. Photography and Written Words. And a copy of my text for anyone to take home. This weekend has left me brain dead (not a state I like to feel settled in, ever). There are too many materials I want to start--just get outside of myself, so I can see it--see it sound. I won't talk much more since I've been speaking for hours through pages upon pages. But I was absolutely struck by Jorie Graham, author of 11 collections of poetry and her new book is "Sea Change." I had never heard of her before but immediately was taken by her motifs and the philosophy that is so deeply embedded within her text. Check out this article. I'll post some lovely quotes by her later. It really furthered my confidence. There is an audience. I'm going to begin shipping work off--nothing to lose.