genre: the journal

response to what is a journal? sometime in february.

Between two states: that of past and present. The process is a product of after thought. I am among mental reflexivity which effects me psychologically--displacing the location of rationale logic and casual thought, or perhaps just the coherence of the two. I assume that with distance the formulation of thought becomes more contextualised, bordering on theory, and because it is less casual than impulsive reactions it is therefore more rationale. But who knows, the act is simple: I am deeply thinking out my mind. Attention to thoughts come and go--and I come and go with it. As quick as my mind goes there, I am here, and we are not truly present or permanently embodying presence anywhere at the same time. My eyes refocus and produce a film that filters a new gaze--a type of documentation that is exposed by cross processing and a layer of multiple stop action images that I illuminate by present light (insight) shaded by situational human interest. The only way to recreate an experience for paper view is to substitute new experience (the current moment of writing) with memory. The event from which I remember transcends time and actuality, thus existing now out of time and in a higher form of fictional imagination. As I write about "I" and from that eye, I embody a passing self that died events ago--and on the page am remade and read as a new character. To write is to tell a sort of story, project the production of a project--a story structured by an autobiographical existence and edited by fictional elements. I create a model of a world and self that is more exact or, rather, refined in mood and substitute the air that brings the living beings to life with an aroma[tic] substance that exaggerates the presence the beings are contained within.