Survivor

Always she moves through pain,
memory, and memories –
what she can’t remember yet
and what can’t be forgotten still.

The mere surviving sweat
and blood and lust as though
that was the hard part, as though
it were easy to wake up
each and every morning.

Those salty taste on her tongue
and screams and sweat and semen
rising from her gagging throat.

As if the easy part were
to fall in love or trust or give a shit
and the hard part were
walking away – breathing –
smiling at the rest of the family
when obliged.

As if, when it was all done,
when she finally got far away,
the air stopped being
choked by every night’s sleep –
every hand on her thigh –

And so she moves through memory –
blocking out what she is still unready for –
and mourns her memories each and every morning
as the screams and sweat stay
and some other fool reminds her:
she survives.

-JC LEE