I, too, have been crying.

The most distressing position to be in is across from your father, hearing his cry. It’s impossible to stare, even though it’s amazing. Could I be intruding? I feel that way. He was sitting at his desk, the morning after Father’s Day, when I gave him his card. I don’t like to be in the room when things I’ve given are opened. I don’t like reactions. I don’t like having to wait, to watch my under or overwhelming effect. There are few moments when we have room to breathe. I feel this should be one of them. He made stick around. I buried my eyes in corners. You see, I appear distracted but rarely ever am. He cried immediately. Broke down. I have never heard emotion as loud. My timing is always on. If only, I were off. If I could be lighthearted in a letter. If I didn’t show him what he has meant. If I didn’t assure him I will always be the child he sees he is losing.