where i am at:

within what feels like no time at all (although under the reason of logic, it has been long lengths of teetering time), i have been moved beyond myself and have gone walking within change. change compromises former selves. however, i lose hold of none of them, because they always remain sealed in the container of my mind to open and draw upon for framing admirably in retrospection. but i do let them fall loose from the modern me. the change that classifies my current character spreads wide and pervades wherever i am placed. my image pushes heavy on the eyes of gazers and my appearance, both physical and psychological, is apparent. in presenting my persona, my personality is present and i personify the concepts my mind is changed by. the current nature setting inside me has caramelized my interior and in effect, has had me color my exterior differently. what has changed my self at this time? what is it that has contributed to the timing of myself? simple. i am no longer falling into the sea from which i stared down at. instead, i see a new skyline of visibility unclouded and cleared of the burdening thoughts that hung somberly before and yet, behind the window of my mind. filtering less, i enter the day differently even if the day is named the same as it was before. i approach my mondays as if they were strangers. "hello my name is chelsea. i feel as if i could know you, but i had been busy worrying about weight then and guarantee i grew distracted. today i am mindful of you though, and i am convinced we won't forget one another."

recently, i have been entirely overcome by the emotional reality of the change i am experiencing. i feel like i have stepped outside of a self and into myself and together, as one, we have gone walking inside an entirely new world. to think and care so significantly less frees up space in the mind and the eyes react by comprehending further ranges of reach. i am not being creative with my analysis. it is common knowledge: being less addicted to your disorder means you can begin living a life you, and you alone, forbad yourself entry to. now i am beginning to live and with that comes the eyes of youth, and the excitement over what is visualized. yet i continue forth with my age of mind, and with this i feel forever advantaged.