Giambattista Valli

Sooo, back in the day, I had a fashion blog--more journalistic reviews than the "what-to-&-what-not-to-wear" assessments. I use to give thought, or rather just have fun and experiment, with fashion and the whole notion and free range of appearance. It was a way of working with my raging image disorder, rather than working against it. Oh, and I was a model, which turned me on more to the production of photography, set design and image making then the materials and brands of the clothing. (I experienced such dreadful people on shoots--and though I hate to admit, because I love them in every other realm of being, Germans were the worst to work for!) But back to what I was getting at. So then I went to college my first year, and became dreadfully lonely and dissatisfied--and instead of being productive in the "right ways", I travelled, took Chinatown buses to New York weekly, flew to Miami to sleep on the beach which was more or less a slap in the face to my family, auditioned for America's Next Top Model on a whim (and got...sorta...far), read poetry, made collages, bought the best music, listened to my most cinematic playlists while staring out bus windows, surfed runway blogs and photography, worked out religiously, swore off diet pills by spring time and then more or less ate close to nothing and ended up saving up $5000 dollars. With my new confidence... and ill-fitted mind that was craving all things spontaneous, I applied to The Fashion Institute, got accepted to the Business School, attended the following Fall at a horrific and unmanageable weight, was involved in the most strenuous courses, amongst the most miraculous perfectionists, posed for photographers, listened to professors discuss manipulation over the masses, fit models and tiny waists--and in between the days of eating a lunch of vegetables at Whole Foods, getting hired to appear as a Twiggy lookalike and being chased down by high school students screaming for me to eat something, I realized that fashion had slipped under my skin without me even admitting to it. I had been manipulated. I had been infected by the disease of trying to achieve perfection. I was contradicting myself when I said I advocated imperfections--and I had spiraled out of control. I left FIT and with the help of life in New York City, tried to begin to turn my life around, get healthy and believe I could stay that way. I got into Gallatin of NYU, my dream school from day one that I hadn't originally gotten into. And from the moment I walked into my first class, my mind changed--my world was reinspired. I live my life in and at extremes. This is something I know (I'm not dumb, I'm not entirely aloof, I am aware of myself..and I apologize in advance for being seemingly elusive, fleeting, intense). I was OCD from a young age. I dedicate my life to certain "things"--it may be food, one individual, a certain activity, a hobby, an insight and it is what I concentrate my mind on for the time being. My eyes are centered in on this object, my deepest passion goes towards it and it becomes my world. It's insane, sure, but I become dedicated and many sensations arise from that. At NYU, I felt--I was inspired--it clicked, that I was finally being able to make up for all the lost time. The years I dedicated to insight, rather than intellect. NYU is an academic university, and I have become an increasingly mindful thinker being here. Right now, this is my world. I haven't thought about fashion in the sense of myself and fashion. I laughed when I was hired at Diane von Furstenberg and told on my way out to bring flats and stems to work the following day, then declined and went with film. I know, I should stop being so harsh and just see myself separately. I have just needed to build myself back up so I don't suffer from falling off the deep end again. Perhaps, I have sworn it off and the whole system of magazines and publicity because of how it effects individuals--models that are dissolving from one season to the next, myself who merely vanished into half of herself within months and all the young girls (that I just recently remembered/admitted) that used/stole my photographs on the internet for their own cyberspace identity and promoted thinness/starvation. I never wanted this influence and I never thought I could be influenced this way. When I modeled I was, perhaps, lucky enough not to have to take notice of my body--it was not something I had to control and because of that I was my most successful. Perhaps, half of this rant, is really me craving the security to go back and use fashion as I once did, not be so self-demoralizing to my body and how clothes fit and not be so off putting to the industry. The truth is, it is an industry I can work well in. I see visually in photographs. I was brought up on sets, under lights, close to cameras. I never felt as confident as when I was in a dark-room--or as breathless as when I was behind a camera. The truth is, I want to be a writer. I want to be remembered for my words. And I want to help change the way others experience their identity in relation to what the outside world asks/influences them. I want to work with photographers. I want to push for the imperfections of beauty to be exposed in photography and throughout magazines. I love the aesthetics of sight--what I can see is what I write, and I want to write beautifully. I don't know how this came to be this long. All I really wanted to do was a post a few pictures from a runway show--just because I want to try and get back into the swing of things, archive the aesthetics of art and production and stay strong, recognize that I don't need to be influenced by weight because that my appearance isn't my calling and not what I want to be my claim of fame. And also because, I got a call from Harper's Bazaar and I might just begin working there. Which was always on the top of the top, before Vogue, before before before. The editor is who SHOULD be running the industry. But we will see where I get with that. Here are a few looks from Giambattista Valli Fall 2008 Ready to Wear line. I'm not familiar with it, but it struck me because I think it was the best casting job that has been done of the models for a show. I have never seen such a collection of girls that all have the same bone structure, oval faces, sharp daunting features, exquisite really!