a year ago, Claudelean.

just found this document in my files, written a year ago november 1st 2007. a questionnaire for my play on my character, Claudelean Musee. hence where this website's name begun and where many of my female fiction characters come from. also interesting is the male character's questionnaire since that was, hmm, highly inspired by actuality. last night, again little to no sleep, reminds me of the good old days, when i was convinced i operated better without it. today was invigorating (one thing is i came home with a stack of unheard of cds for tops $4, crammed in hallway-like room, cds and cassettes caving in, collapsing, stacks to ceiling, and i just stood there switching music in the boom box, hearing sounds of what i needed then, there, time and time again). i hope to write scenes inspired by this last week. i ate a garden burger made of rice and beans, dunked sweet potato fries in tahini mixed with hot sauce dressing. i haven't eaten these things since ninth grade, maybe?, when i lived off my free meal (rice drenched in teriyaki dressing) from a waiter at moon. my sister said with a certain concentrated stillness, "you've been looking slender" and for the first time i didn't pry on what that really meant or implied, i just kept eating, caring less and enjoying more than i ever have.

Name Claudelean Musee

Age 28

Sex Feminine (Femme Fatale: attractive, seductive ultimately bringing disaster to the man involved)

Appearance Magnetizing, alluring, mystifying because she is unaware of what she embodies. Appearance can be likened to a painting; the sight of her calls upon all senses-- touch, texture, smell, color. 5'9, long, leggy, appears taller, glides, feline, movement to her body like a dancer, 123 pounds, appears lean, model figure but feminine strength that radiates, she isn't a waif, supple yet volumptous in parts as well, body glows with nature and she pays particular attention to its needs and health, natural golden blonde hair like honey accented by cinnamon tones, waves like the she was just swimming in the sea, her hair is first seen down cascading off her shoulders but over time it is pinned up showing off her facial structure and silhouette, ivory skin tone flushed red on the cheeks, posture is always perfectly posed.

Occupation Model and Actress. One relies on images and the other on words. Both performing artists.

Religion Spiritual, rather than religious. The only higher being is the self's ability to reason, rationale and think. This is a woman who believes the self should not rely on another and that one should never look up, but look within. Focuses on the personal experience (has the desire to know all of her human self) and the study of metaphysics.

Race, nationality Background is Greek and Roman.

Political affiliations Liberal participator, but conservative opinions.

Habits Observing more than verbally engaging, soft spoken but once she speaks it is a fit of theory (rhyme like, poetic perspective, intuitive, gets flustered by directionless streams of thoughts), trying to read into others, misty eyed, sly smiles, pressing lips together to prevent emotion from seeping out

Worst fault Ability to transform. Inaccessible, self-aware but not self conscious, can perceive herself but does not necessarily believe herself, all to others but not all to herself, seeks sociality but for the science of social studies (human behavior) and most of all seeks solitude and the study of the self. Needs material to perform for and from to be successful, to be star, to live up to self and societies role of her. Can easily destroy reflection (self and other) by breaking mirror.

Best quality The pursuit of imagination. The ability to perceive. Impressions. Desires and designs. Strive to see self.

Their motto To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance - Oscar Wilde. To jewels they prefer human imperfections, moisture of the perspiration, bad smells, stutterings and all the time I keep this for the diary and give the world only jewels - Anais Nin. To make history or psychology alive I personify it. Also everything depends on the nature of the personal relationship. My self is like the self of Proust. It is an instrument to connect life and myth - Anais Nin.

A childhood memory Inside of a butterfly garden. A butterfly landed on her hand, disabled by a broken wing, fluttering to the point of almost being lifeless, she blew on its wing and it came to life, reborn and unbroken.

Where are they Shut away where a case study is being performed on them, where contemporary life can not penetrate them more.

Favorite food, place, movie Seafood (mussels, scallops, shrimp), fresh vegetables, bouillabaisse and ratatouille stew, likes using curries, herbs and spices, mint flavored desserts, sweet potato pie, pumpkin and banana loaf bread and carrot muffins. The Scandinavian islands and Germany. Persona.

What makes them happy The intoxication of theorizing, literature and wine. Figuring and formulating the fate and designing their destiny. And the attraction of the other.

Angry Never knowing whether what is in front of you is actually seen the same by all. Is it a figment of reality? It is an abstraction? It is what you want it to be? Changing through the eyes of every eye.

Sad The deception of appearances. Never being 'here' because she is always 'there'.

What does he/she love most Self as subject. The dramatics of human experience.

Hate most Not receiving and perceiving enough material.

Saddest moment The idea of losing material that would help conceptualize human emotion and existence.

Something they would never tell anyone (a secret) If it wasn't for my Self, I'd have to commit to the Others.

How much money do they have and/or make? Heaps of money. Well-known, highly requested actress and model.

What does the character want most? Deep down: to be one for herself and not many for others.

What does the character dream of? Knowing all of herself. Living by her desires and caring less about other's reality and more about becoming her dream.

Something they are proud of? Depth, ability to portray humanity.

Something they are ashamed of? The power she has to change others, but not to change herself.

Do they have many friends or enemies? Highly adored, easily criticized due to envy. More male friends, psychologist and sister.

Who is their closet friend? Close to self and few others.

What would be an ideal day? Finishing one novel after another, effortlessly. Finding her masterpiece and being charmed for life.

Any pets? A rabbit. Dreams of having a swan and unicorn.

How is their health? Glows. She looks like a goddess and is untouchable.

Sex life? Climbed her way to the top when she was younger by sleeping with men. Was the central figure of many men's lives. Shys away from mention of it, believing that was a different person doing those acts, then the mature woman she is now. Sex was self medicating then. Today, though she displays sex, it is rather forbidden and it is a precious engagement.

What does the character look forward to at the end of the day? "In the pose of sleep, without the defensive masks, every human being looks helpless." - Anais Nin

What is the character's secret ambition? To not model self after an act.

I.Q. (thought process) Well read, highly self educated, scholarly.